Dimpled beauties

Months ago, during a morning walk on a road near the rear gate of a golf course, I saw a golf ball scale the lofty boundary fence and fall on the road, only to bounce over to the compound wall on the other side.

I thought, “Damn, wish the ball was less bouncy and had remained on the road, and I could have picked up a souvenir.”

Ever since whenever I pass that stretch, I wish another such ball scales the golf course fence and stays on the road.

I decided to slow down my pace a bit and look at the nearby trees and bushes to see if any golf ball that couldn’t scale the opposite compound wall is lurking around.

Soon it became an obsession to keep an eye for any tiny white spherical objects while traversing that particular stretch.

I doggedly pursued this for a few months, and finally the lady luck smiled.

As usual, my roving eyes were focussing on the tree bottoms and bushes and my gaze fell on a white object.

The sceptic in me thought it was too good to be true. I thought it could be a small milky white bulb with its rear portion hidden among grass blades.

But when I bent to pick it up, my joy knew no bounds. It was indeed a golf ball with all its dimples meticulously arranged.

To be honest, it was the first time I was holding a golf ball - so far, I had only seen them in photos and videos.

I hardly followed the sport, though happened to read about it in some of the PG Wodehouse books like The Heart of a Goof.

A brief nodding acquaintance with the sport happened when Tiger Woods started dominating the sports pages and it died with his inglorious exit.

Coming back to the ball, I triumphantly put it in my pocket and walked home. I washed it to remove some mud and placed it in the showcase.

This success only whetted my appetite and my gaze became more focussed during my weekend morning walks.

However, the pickings were pretty slim and quite often the 'sightings' ended in disappointments: the usual suspects were egg shells or discarded milky white bulbs. 

But it did not dishearten me and there was no let-up in the gaze.

Soon some of my sightings began bearing fruit and I began finding more golf balls.

Interestingly, once I was lucky enough to find a yellow one.

Till then I had no idea that golf balls come in any colour other than white.

Now I have a collection of six balls, enough to fill a bowl, with the yellow one having a pride of place in the middle. But the hunger to spot those white dimpled beauties is far from over.

Morning Walk Motivations

 

The motivation to go for morning walks may be myriad but can be broadly divided into four categories - health, pets, socializing, and spending some me-time.

Among those going for health reasons, there are the ageing fitness enthusiasts who can no longer run as Achilles tendonitis and sciatica have taken a toll on their legs. But they are in no mood to give up on their fitness goals.

They are pretty serious, often loners, and more or less in shape. They move at a brisk pace and see walking as a means to maintain good health parameters and keep the doctor away.

The second group is that of people who went easy on calories and now find that, thanks to their newly-acquired curves, they can no longer slip into their favourite jeans and dresses. As for motivation, they are a mixed bag – some stay on with their walking regimens while others give up once their calf muscles and knees can’t take any more strain. 

I sometimes come across a woman, who falls in this category, and wears t-shirts with very motivating slogans such as ‘Don’t give up’, ‘Stay strong’, ‘Donut tempt me.’

Then there are reluctant walkers. They put on the walking shoes because doctors have told them to do so. They may be recovering from complicated surgeries and are often on the wrong side of 40 or 50, with an unhealthy midriff bulge. Some are even akin to that of Sumo wrestlers.

Their motivation levels are pretty low and are often accompanied by their spouses. They amble along as they don't want to provoke their spouse’s wrath.

The socializers are mostly women and retired people. They come mainly to hang out with their friends and old colleagues. Conversations circle around movies, politics, and cricket. Burning calories is purely incidental. 

Then there are couples, mostly college students and young working professionals. They too amble along, sometimes holding hands, or hanging around in the vicinity exchanging sweet nothings.

Me-time seekers come generally alone. Their main purpose is to make and receive calls that can’t be done while at home, or listening to music. 

Another major category of walkers includes those who have pet dogs. Walking the dog can be a tricky business, and in some cases, it is difficult to make out who has the upper hand over the leash – the pet handler or the dog. Certain breeds are difficult to handle when they are restless and frustrated.

The pet handlers have a tough time ensuring that the dogs do not digress from the pre-determined course. The reason for digression can be many – ranging from some attractive scent to finding a bird or squirrel.

A major concern for pet handlers is the intimidation by stray dogs. These street-smart canines try to bully their privileged cousins, especially smaller breeds such as poodles and pugs, leaving pet handlers at their wits' end. Many even carry sticks to prevent such attacks.

With some city administrations acting tough on pet litter, many pet handlers are using dog poop scoopers while walking the dog. 

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The Waste Land

 

This black spot on Wind Tunnel Road, Murugeshpalya, has acquired an air of permanency. This patch of land adjoining the HAL airport compound wall remains perpetually overrun by leftover food from households and eateries, and discarded household items like sofas and toilet commodes. 

Both BBMP and HAL have tried all the tactics in their rule book, but this area continues to be a sad reminder that we as a society still have a long way to go in keeping our surroundings clean.

During my morning walks I often see dogs, cows, and birds such as crows and eagles rummaging through the garbage pile for food. This foraging sometimes even results in ugly confrontations, with fights breaking out among the dogs or between crows and eagles. 

The volume of garbage piles varies – when BBMP marshals step up vigil and lie in wait to catch and fine the litterbugs, the pile appears relatively diminished, though the stench lingers on. 

But once they relax their vigil, ‘normalcy’ is restored. Most of the littering, I guess, happens during the night when the area becomes deserted and there is barely any traffic. There are no streetlights either.

But sometimes I come across some intrepid litterbugs who do so during the day, say around 7 am. They come in two-wheelers with the pillion rider carrying a large black polythene bag. The bike slows down near the spot, the pillion rider tosses off the bag, and they scoot off.

On social media we often come across social service organisations carrying out ‘spot fixes’ or makeovers of such black spots, but no such luck for this area.

This particular patch badly needs such a fix as it is not like any other black spot with garbage pile-ups causing inconvenience to nearby residents. Its close proximity to an airfield poses a potential hazard to planes operating out of this airport.

After commercial flights were shifted to BIAL in Devanahalli, HAL Airport has been mainly catering to Indian Air Force aircraft and some occasional VIP flights. 

As numerous birds frequent this garbage dump, this aggravates the risk of a bird-hit for aircraft operating out of HAL Airport. It also endangers the lives of our airmen, who fly fighter plane sorties and test flights on a regular basis. 

Their jobs are fraught with numerous risks, with death stalking at every step. In addition, they now have to contend with this occupational hazard of bird menace mainly because nearby residents and others have scant regard for civic sense.   

As people, we are ever eager to carry out token symbolism to show our love for armed forces like say changing the display picture of our WhatsApp status during Independence Day or Republic Day or posting pictures or videos on social media of soldiers carrying out some risky tasks in Siachen Glacier and other places that in turn attract numerous 'likes' from friends and followers.

But when it comes to doing something more concrete that may help our men in uniform, apathy reigns supreme.

So this spot continues to be in a mess and the stench becomes unbearable especially when it rains.

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An Eye Opener

 I used to take pride that despite working on computers and night shifts, I remained spectacle-free till 40. Most of my colleagues had begun wearing spectacles in their 20s and some senior ones had glasses with soda bottle thickness by the time they reached 40s. The only visits I made to eye specialists were when I fell prey to seasonal conjunctivitis attacks.

Around the age of 42, I started finding it difficult to read newspapers and books. The letters acquired a blurry halo and I could read clearly only when they were placed at arm’s length. However, I didn’t have any problem while using computers, as they were placed at a distance and offered the luxury of increasing the font size. 

During a visit to my hometown around that period, I decided to visit an eye specialist. After paying the consultation fees, the nurse applied drops to dilate my eyes and told me to wait. After about 20 minutes I was called in. By then I could barely see anything clearly, everything appeared blurred with a bluish outline.

The doctor was seated behind a white gadget consisting of lenses, mirrors, and knobs. He told me to sit at the other end and place my chin at a designated place. He then switched on the machine and began examining me. I could feel a beam of light directed into my eyes. 

While the examination was still in progress, he remarked: “Do you have glaucoma? The condition of your nerves appears to be similar.”

I froze on hearing this. All my cockiness about eyesight evaporated. I began lamenting that I have not even started wearing glasses, and I might have fallen prey to a dreaded ailment - often referred to as a ‘silent thief of sight’. I was tongue-tied and could barely mumble.

After the examination got over, the doctor asked whether my parents had glaucoma. I replied in the negative. He then asked about my relatives. I mentioned that a couple of them from my father’s side had the disease. 

My paternal aunt had glaucoma and it was detected very late, leading to blindness. It happened while I was in college and that was the first time I was hearing about the disease and its dangerous consequences if not detected and treated early.

I told him I was leaving the next day for Bangalore and he told me to undergo a perimeter test, to check my vision field, during my next visit. I was too shaken by the episode and did not tell anyone home about the doctor’s hunch.

In Bangalore, I went to another doctor and underwent a vision test conducted by an optometrist. After examination, he concluded that I needed reading glasses, wrote details about the power in a paper, and directed me to the doctor. 

She went through the report and then she happened to notice some redness in my eye. She asked, “Do you have glaucoma in your family.” I repeated the same explanation - my parents don’t have but one of my aunts has. She too recommended a perimeter test.

I then booked the test at the same hospital. They plastered one of my eyes and told me to use the other eye to look into a globe-like contraption and focus on the dot at the centre. Whenever I saw a tiny speck of light in that globe, I need to click the button provided to me. After a few false starts, I finished the test and they repeated it for the other eye.

I got a glazed printout of the hits and misses I had in spotting the tiny flash of light. It appeared less than perfect to me. The lab assistant told me that the doctor was not in town. 

Meanwhile, I ordered a pair of reading glasses at an optical shop and got the delivery in a couple of days. I found it much more comfortable to read newspapers and books and got into my routine. 

The fear of glaucoma was lurking in the background, but I just didn’t have the nerve to confront it by going to the doctor. Any redness in my eyes used to trigger panic, but somehow living in denial appeared convenient. The fear of what if I had the disease used to make me jittery. 

This went on for years (didn’t dare to count) and later when reading became difficult despite wearing spectacles, I realized it was time to see a doctor and prepare for the inevitable. By this time a couple of my cousins had fallen prey to the ailment.

I went to a clinic run by a veteran doctor. The optometrist was aghast when I told him that I was getting my eye tested after seven years. He examined my eye and told me that my distant vision too was failing. I too had realized that when I went to attend a public meeting. The face of the speakers appeared unclear and hazy.

After that, I was ushered into the doctor’s room. He was an aging bald man with a pleasant demeanor.  He was a stroke survivor with a dysfunctional left arm and walked with a limp. A nurse was assisting him to move around and adjust the instruments.

He then examined my eye using the instrument and examined the optometrist’s report. He seemed satisfied with the condition of my eye and advised me to change the power of the glasses. 

I stepped out of the clinic with a cautious satisfaction that he does not suspect that I have glaucoma. I also began rationalizing that it has nearly been a decade since consulting the first doctor and if I had the disease it would have manifested by now. 

For the next two years, we were in the midst of a Coronavirus pandemic with two deadly waves and numerous lockdowns. A year later after things began returning to normal I thought of consulting the doctor again. However, when I went there the clinic had disappeared. I surmised the ailing doctor may have stopped practice or Covid took a toll. I made some inquiries with my friends living near the clinic, but they didn’t know what happened to him. 

One of them informed me that a new branch of a well-known eye hospital had opened nearby and suggested that I visit them instead. He claimed he had a good experience when he went there.

A few more months passed and I realized that my distant vision was failing. While walking on the road I could see people around 25 metres away, but their faces became clearly visible only when they came nearer. 

I visited the eye hospital my friend had recommended and moments after I completed my registration formalities my name was called up by an optometrist. 

They made me sit in front of a gadget and place my chin at a chin rest. From the eyepiece, I saw an object at a distance and it kept on shifting till it became blurred. Then they made me sit in front of another gadget nearby to carry out an air puff test. As I placed my left eye near the lens, I experienced a burst of air and I blinked in panic. Later they did the same with the right eye.

After a few minutes, they told me to meet the doctor on the second floor. My name was called in after a wait of over 20 minutes.  The woman doctor examined my eye closely and the condition of my optic nerve aroused her suspicion. She told me they appear weak and referred me to the chief doctor.

I had expected him to be fairly senior looking, but he was actually a young pleasant-mannered man with a neatly trimmed beard. He examined my eyes and said the condition of the optic nerve was a bit peculiar and tried to explain this by drawing a diagram. He explained this could be due to two reasons – by birth (no reason to worry) or due to glaucoma. He suggested that I undergo a visual field test and two other tests to get clarity.

As it happened to be a Friday, I had to wait for the weekend to get over to undergo the tests. I was getting anxious during the weekend, and kept telling myself to take a philosophical approach and follow the good old adage - “cross that bridge when you come to it”. 

On Monday I reached the hospital around the afternoon. Initially, they poured drops into my eyes and I had a mild burning sensation. They told me to keep my eyes closed.

In about two hours I completed those three tests and I must admit that ophthalmic optometry seems to have undergone a generational change. Ahead of the third test – pachymetry, they had again applied drops, and I had blurry vision. After the tests, I was told to wait for the doctor and I was calm and resigned to face any eventuality. 

Finally, my name was called and the doctor beamingly told me that I don’t have the disease. He explained that my field vision was fine, and hence the condition of my optic nerve was by birth. He even showed me the field vision of a glaucoma patient, which was pockmarked with black spots.

He advised me to carry out yearly check-ups and preserve the reports in case I consult any other doctor, as he felt they too would have this suspicion.

This would have been good news to anybody, but to me, it was really special – finally, I could shed the huge load I was secretly carrying for over a decade. 

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No Ink on My Finger

 

Since I got registered as a voter nearly a decade ago, I have been dutifully getting my fingers inked during every election. I have voted in two Lok Sabha, one assembly, and a couple of BBMP elections. 

Bengaluru has been notorious for voter apathy and every election it comes under fire for low percentages. While rest of Karnataka districts post 65-75 percent polling, Bengaluru huffs and puffs to cross the 50 percent mark and settles for a sub-55 percentage point.

Political pundits attack Bengalureans for not taking voting seriously and instead treating the day as a holiday to scoot off to nearby resorts or shopping malls. They pontificate - there is no point in cribbing afterwards for potholes, broken footpaths, traffic gridlocks, and flooding during rains. 

For me, the nearby school has remained the polling station during all the elections, and I have been casting my vote without much ado. Mostly I come across thin crowds outside polling booths and the process gets over in 15-20 minutes.

But this time, when I went to cast my vote for the assembly election, I was in for a rude shock. When I and my wife produced the electoral identity cards, the volunteers seated outside the polling booth began checking in their paper voters’ list. 

They managed to find my wife’s name and I was hoping mine must be next to it as used to be the case usually. But no such luck for me this time. They entered my ID code into their mobile phones and began checking. After some anxious moments, they too gave up saying the name has been ‘deleted’. 

I was nonplussed and could not process the information. My card changed many more hands among the volunteers and all of them keyed the number on their mobile phones, but the results were negative. They told me they have been witnessing quite a few similar cases and noted down my voter ID number.

As my wife proceeded to cast her vote I told the polling officer about my predicament. They too checked and I had a faint hope that as they are government officials their searches may be more advanced and they might stumble upon my name. But no happy ending. 

Being a long-time voter, I was complacent enough to think there was no need to check my name in the voters’ list in advance. 

A day later, I read in newspapers that after the alleged voter data theft by an NGO Chilume, the election commission had added and deleted many names, and officials said people should have been more alert.

Though I am not much of a fan of posting an inked finger selfie on social media, the inkless index finger does give me a sense of being left out.

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A Flyover to Nowhere

A cartoon is doing rounds on Twitter about two archaeologists in 3000 AD visiting the spot where the unfinished Ejipura to Kendriya Sadan flyover lies and wondering, “Nobody really understands why they were built.” The flyover has been in the making for over five years and even now nobody has any clue regarding its completion. It is a sore testimonial of the shortcomings in the execution of infrastructure projects. 

With the traffic volumes at Ejipura junction and the subsequent Sony Signal in Koramangala, where 100 Feet Road intersects the Inner Ring Road, witnessing an exponential increase, the then state government in 2014 decided to build a flyover to provide a signal-free traffic flow and decongest Koramangala.

Kolkata-based firm Simplex Infrastructure Limited was given the work order for the flyover and the work began in 2017. The motorists began feeling the heat when the middle section of the Inner Ring Road was barricaded with tin sheets to erect flyover pillars.

The carriage space got nearly halved and the travel time doubled for traversing between Ejipura junction and Sony Signal. During the evening peak hours, when the offices at Embassy Golf Links Technology Park near Domlur empty out, the six-lane Inner Ring road has four rows of cars moving in each direction, with two-wheelers snaking through whatever remaining space.

After the Ejipura signal, the jostle for restricted carriage space begins. Incessant honking, brinkmanship and big vehicle bullying smaller ones happen.

For Koramangala and Ejipura residents, the dust emanating from the pillar construction and the loud noise of earth movers and cranes disrupted their day-to-day life. Many had to keep their doors and windows permanently shut.

The first deadline was 2019, but like most infrastructure projects Simplex too failed to honour it. Hardly any eyebrows were raised and motorists on the Inner Ring Road went through their daily grind in a ‘grin and bear it’ mode.

However, what followed rattled even diehard sceptics. Simplex missed many more deadlines and the company’s mounting debts pushed its 28 lenders, including some prominent banks, to classify it as a ‘non-performing asset’ in 2020. The BBMP was left with no option but to terminate the contract.

Another stumbling block was transferring defence and private land for the flyover and clearance to cut trees. These issues have still not been resolved.

All work came to a grinding halt with the unfinished pillars standing out like sore thumbs. Earth movers and other movable assets soon disappeared, leaving behind the remnants of a half-finished flyover. The tin sheets put up as barricades were also subsequently removed.

This status quo has remained for over two years and these unfinished structures have gathered moss during monsoon and pose a hazard to motorists.

BBMP has been making efforts to kick-start the stalled project, but it has so far not been successful. The response to the fresh tenders in August last year was poor with only two firms participating and they too failed to qualify the eligibility criteria. Hence the flyover's fate continues to remain in limbo.

The effectiveness of flyovers in easing the traffic flow has been open to heated debate. They were initially seen as a magic wand as they helped vehicles move past the traffic jams, but the city planners soon realized that they merely shifted the snarl from one place to another and created new bottlenecks. Instead, transport experts moot that the policymakers should make public transport more effective and attractive to users to decongest the cities.

However, flyovers continue to find favour with the politician-contractor lobby as it means involvement of big money and kickbacks.

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Last Mile Connectivity Redefined

 

The introduction of electric bike-sharing services such as Yulu or Bounce has come as a big relief to app-driven millennials and Generation Z in Bengaluru and metro cities. 

These platforms aim to provide college students and young professionals, who commute by bus or metro, with vital last-mile connectivity from bus stands and metro stations to their homes and offices.

However, thanks to the Indian jugaad mentality, the users have discovered that the utility value of these diminutive battery-driven cycles goes way beyond the stated objective of last-mile connectivity. They began using it for joyrides, and short-haul errands and novice two-wheeler riders found the low-seated Yulu bikes were a good way to hone their balancing skills, as they can always put down their feet if things go wrong. 

While riding these bikes safety takes a back seat. Hardly any of the riders wear a helmet and many of them appear to be underage for a driving licence. In the hands of some overweight riders, these bikes appear like beasts of burden.  

Moreover, these bikes, especially the Yulu ones, appear so frail that even a minor collision with autorickshaws could lead to loss of life. They also lack other safety features such as indicators or rear-view mirrors that could help them avoid getting knocked down from the rear. Due to their small size, they do not meet the eye levels of bigger vehicles and run the risk of being trampled upon by burly trucks.

But despite all these shortcomings, these bikes are getting popular by the day and caught the fancy of startups looking to reduce their carbon footprint. Food delivery aggregators like Swiggy and Zomato, and quick commerce firm Dunzo have also decided to hitch a ride with Yulu, to improve their carbon footprint. This has led to an exponential increase in the number of Yulu vehicles, and delivery boys often lug out their voluminous bags onto these tiny bikes during their distribution rounds.

However, this proliferation of bikes has given rise to a host of problems, both for the companies and residents. The companies face the challenge of misuse, theft, and vandalism. 

They claim some users park bikes in a wayward manner at flyovers, footpaths, and residential areas, with total disregard to road discipline and civic sense. For the companies, it is a challenge to locate the parked bikes using GPS and related tracking technologies. Their recovery trucks have to travel long distances to find and collect the bikes. 

For many residents, these bikes are a nuisance as they often get abandoned by unscrupulous users right next to their doorstep. Though companies claim they penalize users who park bikes away from designated spaces, the menace continues.

In fact, in Bengaluru wherever you go, you are never away from an abandoned Yulu or Bounce bike. Recently there was even a social media post of a Yulu bike found in a lake bed in Bengaluru when it was getting cleaned up!

Another major challenge is theft. Though the companies have technology in place to prevent someone from stealing a bike in toto, they still have to contend with thefts of parts such as batteries, tyres, and headlights. Companies often end up spending crores to replace the missing parts and file numerous cases in police stations. 

But despite all these shortcomings, electric bike shared mobility platforms offer a welcome relief from haggling with auto drivers or a long wait for buses for last-mile connectivity. 

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Sweaters in May

 Bengaluru recently went through a May-December romance. Now it has nothing to do with what a Mills and Boon novel has to offer, but it is about the freak weather this year. In May we were experiencing a December-like chill, forcing us to take out the sweaters and jackets that were mothballed a barely a month or two ago.

May began from what April had left off – sweltering afternoons with some relief during nights. Fans and air conditioners were sweating it out throughout the day. Those venturing out in afternoons were even witnessing mirages, something associated with more arid climes.

This continued for nearly a week and then Cyclone Asani happened in the distant Bay of Bengal. The cyclonic formation brought rain clouds to Bangalore. People cheered as it was a harbinger of some glad tidings.  Soon one started feeling the cool breeze and the vague smell of petrichor. This was followed by thunder and lightning and the skies opened up.

Pre-monsoon showers are not uncommon in Bengaluru. They are often referred to as ‘mango rains’ as they help in the flowering of mangoes and keep the mercury levels within limits.

But this year something unusual happened. The rains just did not just bring respite from the heat, it also ensured that the mercury dropped drastically and the maximum temperature plunged by 9 degrees Celsius on May 10. It was the lowest in this century.

Showers became a regular feature every evening, while the days continued to swelter. Social media was awash with memes of Bengaluru having three seasons in a day – summer after 10 am, monsoon in the evening, and winter at night.

Bengaluru Twitter began proudly flaunting the screenshots of live temperatures and boasting how they were even cooler than various hill stations in India. The reactions it evoked were sharp – ranging from admiration to envy/hostility, especially from our countrymen up north, where the maximum temperature refuses to come below 40 degrees Celsius.

The weathermen explained this bountiful wet spell to two cyclonic circulations – one off Tamil Nadu in the Bay of Bengal and the other near Lakshadweep Islands.

However, it also exposed the city’s infrastructure fault lines. It showed that a mere half-an-hour shower was enough to bring the city’s roads to their knees, and fill the underpasses with waist-high water. Many low-lying areas got inundated and drains were clogged on almost every street.

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Covid Conversations - 2021

From cautious optimism in January to a slide towards worry and despair.

Jan 15

Person A: Hi. What's up, man. How is work? And how is the Covid-19 situation in your area?

Person B: Yeah work is going on. Now it is nearly 10 months after we got down to working from home and I heard we may be called to attend office by April. I haven't heard of any cases in our building lately. There may be some in the area, but you never get to know these days, as buildings no longer get sealed.

Person A: Yes, nowadays it is much more discreet. Earlier the street used to get blocked and sometimes we also used to have ambulances coming with blaring sirens.

Person B: The number of people wearing masks is also coming down.

Person A: And many of them wear wrongly with their nostrils exposed. Some even wear it on their chin!

Person B: It is as ridiculous as bikers placing helmets on their elbows while riding.

Person A: A friend was telling me he went on a road trip last weekend. And people in villages were not wearing masks - at the most, some had covered mouths with handkerchiefs. In fact, when they stopped at a wayside tea stall, he and his companions were looked at rather suspiciously. They probably see every masked city dweller as a corona carrier.

Person B: Overall it looks like despite many lapses we got off the hook rather lightly. The number of deaths is much lower than say Brazil or USA.

Person A: Maybe because we get a battery of vaccines after birth. Hardly anyone goes through chickenpox-free adolescence and diseases like malaria and dengue are permanent fixtures.

Person B: Let us hope the worst is over.

Person A: In many countries, the second wave is going on, but I guess we may be spared since during the first wave itself we had so many cases and our population might have acquired herd immunity.

Person B: Don't know how reliable is this premise about herd immunity. Scientists seem to be divided about it.

February 15

Person A: Malls and bazaars near my house are open with crowds close to pre-Covid levels, and even some hotels and restaurants are reopening. Some others I guess have closed for good with promoters running out of money.

Person B: But cases in states like Maharashtra and Kerala seem to be on the rise. I feel it is too early to let your guard down.

Person A: They have even announced dates for assembly elections. I hope we are not sleepwalking into a new disaster.

Person B: Our company has sent a mail saying that offices may reopen in a limited way from June onwards. We may be called up in batches and have to attend the office three days a week. Will have to wear masks, maintain social distancing and other protocols.

Person A: This may come as some relief to those cafeteria guzzlers. I remember some of my colleagues tucking in enormous amounts of food during lunchtime, and guzzle soft drinks from the pantry all through the day. I wonder how they may be managing, holed up at home.

Person B: This pandemic has taught companies that en masse remote working is possible and they can save a whole lot of money. In the pre-coronavirus days, our manager had a very dim view towards work from home and rarely used to give his approval.

Person A: WFH is at best a privilege and possible only for white-collar professionals like us. Not for those working in the healthcare sector, police department, armed forces, power station, oil refineries, and others. Even the much sought-after e-commerce services need personnel for door delivery. So a whole lot of people are still out there braving the virus.

March 15

Person A: Last week I got my parents vaccinated. I took them to a hospital nearby. It was quite hassle-free, not much waiting to get the jab. After the vaccination, they were told to wait for 30 minutes. The next dose is after four weeks.

Person B: After taking the vaccine did your parents experience and fever or discomfort?

Person A: My father experienced chills after dinner and took a fever tablet. Mother did not experience any fever. But both complained of arm pain, which lasted for a few days.

Person B: I too plan to take mine. Somewhat wary of going to hospitals these days.

Person A: Yeah man, you are right. The sight is quite unnerving, doctors, nurses moving around in PPE kits. The dangers posed by the virus and the general fear psychosis is very palpable in hospitals and nursing homes.

Person B: Healthcare workers are just a sneeze away from this deadly virus. Every day must be like going to battle against an invisible enemy. It's not just doctors and nurses; the cleaning staff, security, and the admin guys, they all are equally vulnerable.

Person A: In newspapers, we often come across some famous well-known doctors falling prey to the virus and even dying.

April 15

Person A: If we thought 2020 was bad, 2021 is turning out to be catastrophic. The dreaded second wave is spreading at an alarming speed. Almost everyone I know has some horror story to narrate. Either their family member or a close relative has been infected.

Person B: If you need hospitalization, you really had it. There are no beds or oxygen cylinders available and caregivers have to run from pillar to post to get one.

Person A: If you log on to Twitter or any other social media site, most of the entries are SOS calls for hospital beds and oxygen cylinders. People are putting up videos of mile-long queues of ambulances outside hospital gates waiting to admit the patients.

Person B: This time even well-known people like former diplomats, police officers, and TV anchors are unable to find a bed or a cylinder either for their relatives or themselves. A couple of them even breathed their last while awaiting hospital admission. If this is the condition of the privileged class, I shudder to think about the plight of ordinary people.

Person A: Cleary neither the government nor people saw it coming. Only a few states had bulked up their oxygen capacity after the first wave. Some had even wound up makeshift Covid care centres set up at stadiums and other places during the first wave.

Person B: While the Corona situation is going out of hand, there is no let-up in electioneering. Look at the crowds at election rallies and various religious events and processions. 

Person A: A fatigue seems to have set in. People are tired of following Covid safety protocols.

May 15

Person A: Our neighbour died yesterday. He was in his early forties. The guy used to wear a mask and observe all safety precautions. He has two small kids.

Person B: This is really sad. The disease is decimating families across the country. In case of infection, you can recover, but death leaves long-lasting scars. I hear even getting last rites done is now a huge challenge.

Person A: Yes. The body was taken for funeral around 10 am and they had to wait well into the evening. Only the guy's younger brother went to cremation ground wearing a PPE kit. Rest all viewed the funeral through video recording.

Person B: It's really tragic. You can't even bid a proper farewell to your near and dear ones.

Person A: Vaccines have also become scarce. Booking on CoWin site is a major challenge. I was looking for my first jab and my parents' second.

Person B: People spend hours before CoWin site and don't go beyond OTP stage. Getting a slot is akin to winning a lottery.

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Over a Cup of Tea

 

It started off as a mere fad. My extended family has contributed generously towards making India the diabetes capital of the world and continues to do so with a missionary zeal. Somehow I was overcome with the desire to break free from this herd.

As a small token I decided to forego sugar for my morning tea, though maintain the status quo regarding tea at other times and all my other insulin-hostile indulgences such as sweets, cakes and ice-creams.

I knew it was not an easy decision. I had on some occasions accidentally sipped the sugar-free tea meant for my father, only to recoil at its dour taste and reach for the sugar jar. Hence the skeptic in me felt that a week will be the max I will stick to my new fitness goal.

On day one I was sipping my morning cuppa as if it were one of those kashayams (liquid ayurvedic formulations) made by Kottakkal Arya Vaidya Sala. I was also reminded of those leafy herbal remedies I had taken while I was down with jaundice during my school days.

That was also probably the longest duration I took to finish my morning tea with my tongue and palate revolting against this 'tasteless' brew. And the skeptic in me savoured his 'I told you so' sneer.

But I did not give up. I soldiered on for a few more days, barring occasional relapses, more due to absent-mindedness than any mellowing of intent. Soon the morning cuppa sans sugar began to appear a bit more bearable, and my tongue and palate seemed more reconciled to the new fare.

Gradually I discovered that sugarless tea had its own taste and began to appreciate what tea connoisseurs have been saying all along:

• Tea is meant to be bitter like beer.

• It should be enjoyed without sugar.

• It is an acquired taste.

They look down upon those adding sugar and warn that they were destroying the taste of tea and instead tasting mere sugar.

Now more than a decade later I have been following this routine, barring while travelling. In fact, now mornings look tasteless if the first tea of the day has sugar in it.

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Grey’s Anatomy

Haircuts have now become a long-drawn affair, as it also involves colouring (the new-age term for dyeing). Though I feel lucky to still have a full crop of hair even after entering the wrong side of 50, but during every salon visit the proliferating silver linings on my scalp only aggravate the dark clouds of despair.

As the barber's scissors scythe through my hair mass, I notice that the grey cover is spreading like water hyacinths in our polluted water bodies. Its stranglehold over both the temple regions is complete and in other parts also vast swathes are facing a rapid depletion of melanin pigment cells.

I look at the mirror with the dread of a schoolkid checking the answer sheet of an exam he knows he had flunked. There is that sinking feeling while establishing an eye contact with my mirror image. However, I console myself thinking that this unvarnished grey's anatomy is a fleeting one and will soon give way to an airbrushed L'Oréal reality. 

During those moments my mortal dread is that if someone known to me enters the salon and gets a full-on view of my 5,000 shades of grey. Thankfully, so far, I have been spared those blushes.

As the barber diligently applies the hair colour, one feels the irritation once it coagulates and turns black. After a wash the hair has a too-good-to-be-true coal black shade and it takes a few days to attain normalcy.

A couple of weeks later the greys begin to reappear as the colour coating weakens and the 'grey shoots' pop up. Though many go for 'touch ups' I wait for the next haircut for a fresh coat.

So, this monthly exercise goes on ... I really envy celebrities like actor George Clooney, soccer coach Arsene Wenger and closer home Naseeruddin Shah, who proudly flaunt their greys. Also, some of my friends who never took up dyeing or gave it up recently. Wonder when I would muster enough courage to do that.

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Covid-19 Conversations

 Feb 15, 2020

Person A: Hi, how you doing. Just came back from the US. Oh man! while returning we had to be in airport four hours ahead of departure because of coronavirus. For planes coming from China, the screening of passengers is even more stringent.

Person B: In India also some isolated cases here and there, especially those returning from China. The pictures and TV footage looks scary with people wearing masks and doctors wearing some weird looking suits. So many dying in China. Wonder if it spreads in India, do we have the infrastructure to cope with it.

Person A: These Chinese eat all kinds of stuff and now they are spreading the disease worldwide.

March 15

Person A: Hi, you heard? Our campus at Bellandur has been closed as one of the employees in the tower next to ours tested positive. We have been told to work from home for a fortnight.

Person B: Oh is it! Our office at Electronics City has also put in very elaborate safety protocols. Everyone is thermal checked before entering the campus and hand sanitizers are there in every second table.

Person A: Experts say one should do frequent hand wash and practice social distancing as the virus is very contagious. But people are hardly bothered. At a tea stall down the lane near my house, it was crowded as usual and no social distancing.

Person B: Yeah man, it is difficult to implement in public places. I wonder the scene at Mumbai's local trains. The virus will spread at supersonic speed.   

March 20

Person A: Is wearing masks necessary?

Person B: I doubt. When SARS happened it was said only the infected need to wear to prevent its spread. But it is always better to be safe than sorry. Masks are flying off the shelf, very hard to find.

Person A: What plans for Janata curfew on March 22.

Person B: Sit at home only. Do you by the way plan to stand in balcony and clap.

Person A: I think we should. After all our health workers are doing a tremendous job against all odds.

Person B: Yeah, but it is way too infantile. Many of these workers are battling the pandemic without any proper equipment like PPE kits etc. We should work on that.

March 23

Person A: How was the Janata curfew response?

Person B: Pretty enthusiastic. Mine was the only flat in our apartment complex where there was no clapping. People were even blowing conchs, ringing bells and playing cymbals.

Person A: See what I told you. Me and my family did clap, but could not match the enthusiasm of some of our neighbours. I hear in many places there was singing and dancing on the street with little regard to social distancing.

Person B: I just hope the number of cases in India remain low and we do not turn out to be another Italy or US.

Person A: Hmm, hope so.

March 26

Person A: Hi boss, how is life after complete lockdown? You also started working from home?

Person B: Ya man, thankfully no need to get dressed up and negotiate traffic snarls. But slow broadband at home is driving me nuts.

Person A: That is a challenge. Two days ago my broadband connection snapped and it gave me a panic attack. My workload piled up. All this so-called 'business continuity plan' goes for a toss if net connection fails.

Person B: Work from home is a privilege. Only white collar workers like us can do it, whereas for health workers, policemen, factory workers etc it is out of question. They have to go out and brave the virus risk.

Person A: Yeah, and the cases are rising. I think government did the right thing by announcing a complete lockdown. It has acted on time as we have only around 500 cases. And by 21 days I guess we may be able to neutralize and prevent the spread of the virus. And by then the summer season may have begun. I heard these viruses can't survive high temperature.

Person B: I think the government has learned from the mistakes made by some Western countries like UK and US.

April 4

Person A: Hi, so it is lighting lamps tomorrow at 9 pm.

Person B: Yes, and I am sure the response will be as overwhelming as the clapping one.

Person A: I readily second that. You know I got a forward saying how 'scientific' this is.

Person B: Seriously!

Person A: Yeah man, let me read it for you. It says the proposed date for lighting lamps is April 5 (5 + 4, April being the fourth month) and the event is at 9 pm and for 9 minutes. The Prime Minister's address is based on Vedic powers - 9x3=27 ie 2+7 is 9. Hence it is Navgruha Aradhana - means pleasing the nine planets to save life.

Person B: Oh! I have nothing to say. My head is spinning.

Person A: It didn't come from some WhatsApp uncle with children well-settled abroad, but from a middle-aged MNC employee.

Person B: Yeah we are going crazy by the day! Earlier during the clapping ritual, I had seen some celebs and TV anchors tweet that mass clapping will cause widespread vibrations which will kill the virus. 

April 7

Person A: Hi. Whats up. How is work from home going?

Person B: It's getting tough man. The chair at my home is not as ergonomic as in office. It is taking a toll on my neck and lower back.

Person A: Yeah man. Same here. Moreover I am missing those coffee breaks. No coffee machine at home. Have to make coffee myself if I need it.

Person B: Ha! And those snack breaks at cafeteria. Also the visits to nearby pan kiosk for a cigarette.

Person A: Our cafeteria food was free and Oh Man the way some of our colleagues used to gorge! You won't believe I often used to find four boiled eggs in the breakfast trays of some guys. I wonder how they are managing now.

Person B: Same here. I used to feel horrified at the way people used to guzzle coke, red bull and other canned drinks from the pantry refrigerator. I guess people must have painfully realised how much their offices pampered them.

Person A: Have you also noticed something? Ever since WFH started the work seems to be never ending.

Person B: True, requests keep coming. And Zoom calls - they seem to eat away most of our time. Despite saving on commute time, my work hours have become longer than pre-lockdown days. A quick consultation with a guy in the next pod to clear minor doubts now requires elaborate slack messenger chats - and if the internet is slow, we had it.

Person A: How is the situation at your apartment. Are they allowing maids, newspaper vendors etc.

Person B: No, both me and wife are juggling with office and household chores. And it leaves both of us harried and exhausted.

Person A: Yeah, going to shops have become more challenging. We have to be mindful of wearing masks and shops down shutters by 7 pm. Moreover there is always a queue outside as only a limited number of people are allowed at a time. We tried doing grocery shopping online, but delivery takes many days as the orders have spiked up. And we always tend to miss out something while compiling the grocery list, which requires visit to nearby store. I just hope that the government lifts the lockdown by April 15 and normalcy soon returns. Pretty bored sitting at home.

Person B: Well we can say all that because we have 'work' and a 'home'. My wife's cousin got pink slip, has been told May 31 is his last day.

Person A: Good lord! And how are we supposed to find a new job amid lockdown and other restrictions.

Person B: Almost all companies are shedding jobs, no one is hiring.

April 17

Person A: Now that the lockdown has been extended, we may not see the insides of our offices anytime soon. I am even missing the casual chats I used to have with security guys.

Person B: Yeah, some companies are already offering its employees WFH option for the rest of year! Some I guess may not renew office leases once they expire.

Person A: We got an office mail stating that WFH will continue 'until further notice'. Our broadband and power bills are bound to go up. Now who is going to pay for all that?

Person B: With saloons closed, my hair has gone haywire. The dhobi at the street corner has disappeared. Probably gone to her hometown. Anyway with most people working from home, she may have little work.

Person A: A formal shirt for some important zoom calls, and the rest of the time it is T-shirt with sweat pants/lungis/shorts.   

Person B: I happened to drive past the inter-state bus terminal the other day. I was stunned by the length of the queue there. Looks like most daily wage workers now want to reach their hometowns, whatever it takes - bus, lorry, cycle or even on foot.

Person A: Didn't the prime minister while announcing lockdown say that workers and house helps should be paid. Looks like his pleas have fallen on deaf ears. No work, no income and landlord forcing them to vacate - they have been thrown to the wolves. The TV footage of people walking on the highways looked straight out of movies set during the 1947 partition.

Person B: And to rub salt on their wounds a political leader has said these workers are trying to enjoy their chhutti caused by the lockdown. Who in their right minds will walk hundred or thousands of kilometres unless they are so desperate.

May 5

Person A: Did you manage to buy liquor.

Person B: No man was scared of the virus. Moreover, you know I don't drink much, so I still had some stock left at home.

Person A: I was running dry for a long time. So I went despite the fear of virus lurking at the back of my mind. The queue was long and the mandatory social distancing had further stretched it.

Person B: I saw some pictures on social media of separate queues for women at some outlets.

Person A: Yeah man. Many of my friends from Chennai were getting freaked out. They say it is unthinkable there.  

May 12

Person A: Hi. By the way there are a few cases in the lane next to us and it has been sealed.

Person B: Oh, when did it happen.

Person A: Yesterday night. We had some ambulances arriving with sirens blaring and shortly after that the lane was closed. The grocery shop in that lane has downed shutters.

Person B: There was a case at a gated community near our place. They had sealed one of the towers.

Person A: We need to be very careful. The virus is closing in. Earlier when we used to read about China, US and Italy we could reassure ourselves that it is too distant but now it is making its presence felt at much closer quarters.

Person B: Yes. The scene in Chennai is much worse. I called my friend recently and he told me that quite often the friends he happens to contact tell him that they themselves have the virus.

Person A: Oh! That's scary.

Person B: The government keeps saying there is no community spread, but the speed with which the new cases are emerging across various parts of the country, this claim looks hollow.

May 21

Person A: Looks like lockdown has faltered in halting the march of the virus. At the beginning it was 500 and now it has overtaken China's tally of 86,000. I don't know whether its extension to May 31 will be of any use.

Person B: I think if there was no lockdown we might have reached this figure much earlier.

Person A: It may be true but, I don't know, maybe we should have gone for localized lockdown in places with high density of cases. We could have allowed a semblance of economic activity with strict safety protocols in place.

Person B: Easier said than done.

Person A: Look at our South Asian neighbourhood - countries like Pakistan and Bangladesh which have equally dense population and even more patchy health infrastructure seem to be faring better. Lockdowns worked in the West because they have far superior welfare measures. Here the daily wage workers were forced to migrate and it has undone whatever little success lockdown might have accomplished in halting the spread of virus.

Person B: Our cities have patchy health infrastructure, but in small towns and villages it is non-existent. We are in huge trouble.

Person A: Even in Bangalore I am told that government hospitals are full to their capacity and private hospitals are charging a fortune - people are being made to shell out in lakhs. Health insurance companies are having a field day.

June 13

Person A: Your house is close to a mall, what is the scene like after the easing of lockdown?

Person B: From what I have observed the people continue to be wary. Not much crowd. The mall authorities also don't want to take any chances - lots of checking etc.

Person A: Though the government have announced unlock plans, I doubt whether even a semblance of normalcy will return anytime soon.

Person B: Yes, many of the hotels and restaurants still remain closed.

Person A: Either they have closed for good, or because they cannot afford the new safety protocols they are reluctant to lift the shutters. Moreover many I guess are happy to just run their kitchens and reach out to patrons through online sites like Zomato or Swiggy. Restarting dine-in may expose them and their patrons to the risk of virus.

Person B: The number of cases have crossed 3 lakh and we are now the fourth worst-hit Covid-19 hit country.

Person A: It is scary and in Bangalore the number of containment zones are rising rapidly. Our cities are way too crowded and cases will keep shooting up. Two days ago there was a news report of various suburbs in Bangalore reporting more than 100 cases each and mine was one of them.

Person B: God only knows how many unreported cases. The other day I was watching a doctor claiming in a video that every country has a gap between reported and actual cases. And in India it is much higher than the West.

Person A: I guess in many states the authorities might have fudged or dressed up numbers to look good. Already India's low death figures are being taken with a pinch of salt by the global media.

Person B: I think that could be because we undergo a battery of vaccinations at birth and are used to coping with viruses and bacteria all through our lives.

July 25

Person A: A friend of mine had to fly to Mumbai due to family emergency. He had to download Arogya Setu app, wear N-95 mask and also put on a face shield.

Person B: Oh is it. I guess now just a limited number of passengers are allowed and the number of flights are also pretty low.

Person A: Some passengers were even wearing PPE kits.

Person B: I wonder when we will be able to travel normally without all these trappings. I used to visit my hometown at least once in three months. But after this Corona thing came I haven't gone.

Person A: I am preparing a list of places in India where I have been postponing my visits due to one reason or other. Once normalcy returns, I want to go there on a priority.

Person B: Normalcy is not going to come anytime soon. New cases are shooting up at a scorching pace. India's total caseload is nearing a million.

August 3

Person A: We now have two cases in our apartment. Both from same family. BBMP guys came and the sanitized common space and other places.

Person B: Take care. Be extremely wary of using the lift.

Person A: Thankfully, they are not sealing off the building as they used to do earlier.

Person B: Yes, that used to cause lots of hardships to inmates who have not been infected by the virus. In other countries essentials are provided to these residents by government agencies, but in India it is rarely followed. Hence they have to fend for themselves.

August 30

Person A: A lot of talk is going on about vaccines and trials. I wonder why Bill Gates is taking so much interest.

Person B: I think it is because he was involved with various immunization drives in India as part of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. He may also have invested in some of these companies.

Person A: Why is Nandan Nilekani getting involved in this? He says people should get a digital certificate stating the date of vaccination, name of the vaccine, vendor and the location.

Person B: After Aadhaar, he is itching for another mass surveillance stunt.

Person A: We had successfully eradicated polio without such dodgy certificates.

September 15

Person A: It is close to six months since the countrywide lockdown, but the 'flattening of the curve' is nowhere in sight. Somebody had joked that it is the GDP curve that got flattened instead.

Person B: The authorities seem to have given up. Earlier one case in neighbourhood and the area used to get sealed. But now we are hardly hearing any such incident. And it is not due to lack of cases. In fact, we might be unknowingly living amid scores of Covid-19 infected people, but we will never get to know.

Person A: The other day after a long gap I went to a temple. Was pleasantly surprised to see a guy with a non-contact body thermometer and a foot-operated sanitizer placed at the entrance. The number of people were a fraction what they used to be during the pre-Covid days.

October 5

Person A: The other day I happened to walk through our layout. Was amazed to see that every second house had a 'To let' board. With work from home being the norm in most companies, people have vacated their homes and left for their hometowns.

Person B: Yes, it is the same situation in my locality. Many of my friends who were staying in paying guest accommodation have left.

Person A: There are a couple of flats in my apartment that have been lying vacant for months. The owner is a quoting the pre-Covid rental rate and nobody is willing to shell out that much.

Person B: Yes rates have fallen across the board. Even many offices have downed shutters. Don't know whether it is because of mounting losses or they see no sense in occupying such large premises when employees are working from their homes.

October 20

Person A: What is the pub scene nowadays?

Person B: It is almost back to pre-Covid days.

Person A: Oh, when they had reopened after the lockdown, I had heard they were offering a lot of 'happy hours' as there were very few patrons. With many young professionals having left for their hometowns, the attendance was low.

Person B: Yeah that was the case, but now things are looking up. A pub near my house looks very crowded. Now that they don't have to commute to office, people are frequenting pubs almost everyday.

 

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Inked Minority

With a heavy heart, I have to admit that on April 18 I got reduced to a minority. I was one of those dunderheads who, overcome by a false sense of self-importance, decided to junk long weekend and trudge to the polling booth to get my fingers inked.

My constituency Bangalore Central attained the dubious distinction of recording the lowest turnout in Karnataka state so far, though the second phase is pending. But it is highly unlikely any other constituency in the state would be able to replicate this under par performance. With less than 50% voters turning up, those with inked fingers got reduced to a minority. It could even give the country's voter apathy capital South Mumbai constituency a run for its money.

When I went to cast my vote this indifference was palpable though I did not make much out of it. I reached around 9.30 am and the enthusiasm of booth party workers and their willingness to help was missing.

I remember during 2014 general election the party booths were bustling with activity and booth workers were more than eager to guide voters about their serial numbers and booth numbers, often followed by a discreet message, "Please vote for Modi". During the subsequent BBMP election and the assembly election, this enthusiasm was there, though in a more diluted form.

This indifference was also visible at the polling booth. I was shocked to see that there was no one, let alone a queue. I was able to cast my vote in a jiffy, though while coming out I did notice some 4-5 people queueing up, I guess all from the same family.

I then thought I should not read too much into deserted polling booths. Probably I was lucky enough to be there during a lull period. 

However, by evening I realised that the malaise of voter apathy was for real and far more widespread across the city, with the constituency where I voted being the epicentre.

Bangalore has been notorious for low turnouts. And painstaking efforts by NGOs and government officials and numerous ad blitz have over the years made little difference.

While the city, in general, is drawing flak for keeping off the polling booths, a lot of people who wanted to cast their votes were shocked to find that their names have been struck off the voter's list. And these were not even first-time voters but had voted during many elections in the past. They had not even shifted their residence to warrant deletion of names.

The officials claimed voters' list is updated on a yearly basis to account for voters who have shifted their residence or died and to delete duplicate and fake entries. This gets done under the National Electoral Roll Purification and Authentication Programme. 

Looks like many bona fide voters' names too got eliminated in this 'purification' process. In Karnataka, 13.8 lakh entries got deleted since May 2018, and 5.05 lakh were from Bangalore alone

Tailpiece

Now pundits are coming up with suggestions like online voting to improve this sorry state of affairs.

Putting forth my two-bit wisdom, it won't be a bad idea to provide arrangements to absentee voters to ink their fingers near the resorts they are holidaying! It will boost tourism in the bargain.

Social media will be flooded with people posing with inked fingers in front of fancy resorts. We will have city's Page 3 glitterati posting messages like 'Just inked my finger near Orange County Kabini, now off to a coracle ride.'

If political parties can ring-fence their legislators and let them have a good time at resorts (at God knows whose money) to prevent horse-trading, why can't voters exercise their franchise amid some fun and leisure! Why should netas have all the fun!

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Anatomy of Traffic Jams

Traffic jams may bring things to a standstill, but for most Bengalureans it is a preferred conversation starter. A myriad mix of emotions ranging from empathy, camaraderie to schadenfreude can be seen when conversations veer towards traffic bottlenecks and the time spent there during their daily commute.

It also evokes a deep sense of parochialism with people from each ward or zone proclaiming that traffic jams in their area measures highest in the misery index.

For those residing on Mysore Road nothing beats a traffic jam at Nayandahalli, those using Bannerghatta Road on a daily basis think it is the ultimate form of penance and forbearance. Those using the Whitefield Road think Kundanahalli junction is what the writers of Holy Bible had in mind when they talked about camel passing through the eye of a needle. Those residing near Hebbal think the same about Mekhri Circle.

But, however, among all these people there is a grudging consensus that Silk Board and K.R. Puram junctions are in different league and look at them with same amount of reverence as Rajinikant fans to their Thalaivar.

During my office commute I have to contend with Koramangala Sony Signal, a comparatively light weight one, but has now gathered some heft thanks to flyover work.

The ubiquitous earth movers, which seem to have already overrun half the city roads, have ensured that a major chunk in the middle of the road is not motorable and a tin sheet partition conveys they are here for a long haul.

For motorists on both sides the carriage space have come down to half of what it used to be and travel time doubled. The domino effect of this traffic bottleneck can be felt even four kilometres away at Embassy Golf Links technology park. 

During peak hours the six-lane Inner Ring road has four rows of cars moving in each direction, with two-wheelers snaking through whatever little space is left. As one crosses Ejipura signal, the fight for restricted carriage space begins. Incessant honking, brinkmanship and big vehicle bullying smaller ones happen.

The passage through this stretch is also punctuated with long waits when signal turns red. This is the time to fret about getting late for office meeting, make frantic calls in this regard or more sedate pursuits such as listen to music, gaze at your phones or adjust the rear view mirror to check the make-up. Thankfully the last one is soon becoming passe, thanks to mirror app on phones.

It is also time to look at surroundings and feel rattled by the loud noise of heavy machinery, duck those seeking alms, especially the transgenders, and wait forlornly for the signal to turn green.

Tailpiece: During one such waits my attention was drawn towards a commotion in front of a shop front just after the Ejipura junction on way to Sony Signal.

A bike had rammed into another one from behind. The front wheel of that bike got stuck in the space between the rear wheel and exhaust pipe of the other one. Like two dogs trying to separate after a mating session,the two riders were frantically pulling their respective bikes in opposite directions. Both had to sweat a lot before they could accomplish it!

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