Politeness is as alien to us as a pothole-free road or a
well-paved litter free footpath in the city. If you find a polite auto driver,
then you might as well buy a lottery ticket and be assured that lady luck will
smile on you.
We strongly believe in the credo 'taking someone for a ride' and
have even applied for an ISO certification in this regard. However, the insiders there have cautioned that we are in
for a stiff competition from our counterparts in Chennai and Delhi. So we have
to be on our toes and keep thinking about innovative ways to implement our
credo.
Meters are meant to be ornamental, but sometimes we have to
oblige pesky customers, who think they are doing something smart. Little do
they know that our meters don't run as per distance covered, but on jumps and
jerks the vehicle experiences on hitting potholes and speed breakers.
The fare meter works in different ways vis-a-vis potholes and speed breakers. As for potholes it is inversely proportional - the deeper the pothole, the higher the quantum jump in the meter. Whereas in case of speed breakers it is directly proportional. And in this regard we specially thank BBMP, BWSSB, telecom companies for tirelessly working round the clock to ensure that we are never away from potholes. We also thank the citizens of Namma Bengaluru for being generous in erecting unauthorised speed breakers every 20-30 feet distance on bylanes and that too more than double the Government stipulated height.
The fare meter works in different ways vis-a-vis potholes and speed breakers. As for potholes it is inversely proportional - the deeper the pothole, the higher the quantum jump in the meter. Whereas in case of speed breakers it is directly proportional. And in this regard we specially thank BBMP, BWSSB, telecom companies for tirelessly working round the clock to ensure that we are never away from potholes. We also thank the citizens of Namma Bengaluru for being generous in erecting unauthorised speed breakers every 20-30 feet distance on bylanes and that too more than double the Government stipulated height.
We are hypersensitive towards distances and have a narrow
range of 2 to 5 kilometres. Anything less or beyond is treated as if the
customer has asked for a free ride to Mars or Pluto. This gesture (of contemptuously driving away without any basic courtesy of saying 'yes' or 'no') has earned us a global patent and you will not find it among drivers in any other city. In case if you come
across any auto driver from other city trying to imitate us, please bring it to
our notice (for contact number you can check out our website) so that we can
begin legal proceedings.
Although traffic police have stipulated timings for charging
one-and-half and double fares we believe that time is a continuum and hence
cannot be compartmentalised. Our excuses to charge extra fare may range from
somewhat plausible (we may not get passengers while returning) to whatever we feel like at the moment (it is raining ... lot of traffic ... I have headache ... and the like).
It is our birthright to stalk passengers alighting from
trains and outstation buses. Also the right to exercise it much more
aggressively during odd hours and quote fares which may well be higher than what the passengers may have paid for their train or bus journey.
Lastly, we have every right to enjoy pleasant afternoons by indulging in a siesta on the back seat of autos and woe betide if anyone tries to wake us!
Also Read: Random Jottings
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